So this is it. 30 days without my scale, and my final reason for eating right and exercise that has nothing to do with how I look. I have a lot of thoughts to work out about what I really learned during this month - and it wasn't what I thought or hoped I would learn.
At any rate, I must post one final reason. It's been pretty challenging these last few days, and I have felt like I just can't come up with one more. Then this morning, my final reason came to me.
I have to eat right and exercise because I love myself.
What does that mean? Mainly that I have always seen losing weight as the key to seeing myself in such a way that I could love myself. I stare at myself in the mirror and tell myself how much I hate my belly and thighs, my stretch marks, the little bit of fat hanging over my bra. I hate the flap under my triceps and the way I get a double chin in some pictures. And I think if I just lose that weight, if I just look better, then I will love myself. How sad is that? And yet I know I am not alone. I know many, if not most, women think they'll love themselves more if they can just fix those flaws, whatever they may be.
But that's looking at it entirely wrong. Loving myself should be the reason to exercise and eat right, and not the goal. I shouldn't do it so I will love myself, but because I love myself. Because I deserve to be healthy and the people who love me deserve for me to be healthy.
So that brings me to the all-important question: do I love myself? Do I love myself as I am? Will I love myself no matter what the scale says tomorrow?
I don't know the answer to that. But I do know that if I can't love myself as I am then there is no amount of exercise that is going to make me love myself any more. I have to love myself first, and I have to treat my body as something that deserves love. Otherwise, how can I ever expect to look in the mirror and be happy, no matter what I see?
Day 30, Reason 30: Loving myself first.
So here it is. The end of the 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge.