Day 7, Reason 7: To Feel More Comfortable

So before I launch into the 7th reason, a little update on how this whole thing is going.

I have not stepped on the scale in 7 days now.  It has not gotten easier.  Especially in the last few days I have been dying to know what the little screen will say.  Not because I think there's any good reason I should have lost weight, in fact it's just the opposite.  Because it's such an ingrained habit.  I can't stand not knowing.  It's driving me crazy.  It's like a little fix I need every day, and like every addiction, it doesn't always make me feel good, but I do it anyway.

But..onwards I go.  If I can make it 7 days I can make it 30.  I'm hoping that the desire will fade and I will no longer be a scale addict by the end of this.  I can't say my confidence in that is high though.

On to reason number 7.  Now, I promised my reasons would have nothing to do with my weight or my appearance, and maybe this one toes the line a little, but it's a huge reason for me.

I just feel more comfortable when I am more fit.  I can't bear my thighs rubbing together.  I sweat less and feel cooler and more comfortable when I am in better shape.  I hate when my waistband is hurting me and sitting down is uncomfortable.  Everything about my body feels better when I am eating right and exercising.  There's less bloating, less bouncing, less rubbing...I just feel more comfortable.  And it's not about how I look or my comfort in having people look at me - that is an entirely different issue.  Physical comfort in my own skin and in my clothes is perhaps not the best reason, but it's a powerful one.

Day 7, Reason 7: To feel more comfortable in my body.

Check out the 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge here!

Day 6, Reason 6: Because IBS Sucks

I was diagnosed with IBS years ago, and the doctor's didn't seem to really have much of an answer for me in terms of treating it.  Eat more fiber, get more exercise, drink more water.  All pretty general solutions.  It took me a while to figure out what really makes a difference for me.

When I first tried a primal diet, it was a huge struggle.  But then, I started to feel better.  The more I ate clean, healthy, whole, unprocessed foods, the less grains I ate, the better I felt.  My stomach stopped cramping, I spent less time in locked in the bathroom in pain.  I discovered by adding foods back in what was giving me the most pain - gluten.  It was like a miracle to discover I could be free of the bloating and discomfort.

Exercise is a component of that as well.  The more regularly I work out, the better my body seems to process food.  The combination of regular exercise and a healthy diet made all the difference for me.  As soon as I go back to skipping workouts and eating poorly, all that digestive pain comes back full force.  I'd rather live without it, and I finally know there is a way to do that.

Day 6, Reason 6: Because healthy eating and exercise makes my tummy happy.

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Day 5, Reason 5: Exercise is Better Than a Stress Ball

As some of you may know, raising two boys can also raise the blood pressure.  It can get a little crazy and stressful around here, you know, like pretty much all the time.

Sometimes, they're just sending you up a wall and you just want to scream and possibly punch something.  Note, I said something, not someone, let's not be calling the social workers.  And that's where my favourite kickboxing DVD comes in.

Not only is it a fantastic workout, it's also a great stress reliever.  There's nothing like an hour of kicking and punching to blow off some steam.  It's not just kickboxing either - exercise of any kind is a fantastic stress reducer that can make you feel a lot better.  And it's both an immediate way to kill some stress as well as a long-term solution to keeping stress under control.

I'm guessing that my days of stress are long from over.  We've got the teen years to contend with, after all, and Nolan is already an obnoxious 7-year-old.  I can only imagine him at 15.  So keeping stress under control is reason number five, and it's a big one.

Day 5, Reason 5: Less, stress, happier mom.

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Day 4, Reason 4: Two Boys Need One Strong Mother

Yesterday Nolan leaped down from three stairs up and into my arms.  I wasn't ready for him to do it, but I was able to catch him and hold him.  He does this a lot - we call it the Nolan Assault Hug.  Sometimes he runs at you, sometimes he leaps off of something.  Most of the time I can tell he's about to do it and brace myself - but even when I'm not ready he doesn't knock me over.  At least, he hasn't yet.

My boys love to be picked up and hugged, swing around and carried on shoulders and piggyback.  Those days are going to come to an end soon as the boys grow older and don't want mom to pick them up, but for now, they have no doubt that their mom has the strength to handle them.  For now, I can take a Nolan Assault Hug no problem, and I like it that way.

They see me lifting weights and know I am working on being stronger.  They have seen me split wood, move furniture, and pick up our 85-lb lab.  They have never once questioned my strength, or questioned whether I was strong enough to do something because I'm a woman.  And I want it to stay that way for as long as possible.

Handling two energetic, rambunctious boys who show affection with the same all-out approach that they take to every physical activity takes a lot of strength, and keeping up with them is one of the main reasons I need strength training.  They'll get too big, and the assault hugs will come to an end, but I hope it's simply because they've outgrown it and not because I can't handle it.  After all, a mom of boys has to take affection any way she can get it.

Day 4, Reason 4: To be strong enough to keep up with my little guys, even as they become bigger guys.  To show them where that strength comes from by letting them know exercise makes the difference.

Check out the 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge!

Day 3, Reason 3: Some Sleep Would Be Nice

If you know me, you know I'm tired.  That's pretty much my constant refrain: I'm so tired.  For an insomniac, that takes on a whole new meaning, being tired.  It's part of your everyday existence, something that just is, like the colour of your eyes.

I've always been a terrible sleeper - ask my mom.  To this day my insomnia comes and goes in waves, where it gets a little better and a little worse.  But the nights that I fall asleep easily are few, and the nights that I sleep for more than a few hours without waking are even fewer.  Those, like my husband, who sleep easily and deeply, can't begin to understand.

I've been asked why I can't sleep (I don't know), why I don't just stop thinking about whatever is running around in my brain (I can't), and if I've tried this, that, and the other supplement (I have).  Even with Ambien I will wake up in the night and be unable to fall back asleep.  In truth, the only thing that has ever improved my sleep even a little is sticking to a healthy diet and exercise routine.

When I stick to a close-to-primal diet plan and I work out 6 days a week, I sleep better.  It might take me only an hour to fall asleep instead of two, and I might wake in the night only once instead of 3-4 times.  That doesn't sound like a vast improvement to all you easy snoozers, but to me, it's a miracle.

So, today's reason is very simple - I have really got to get some sleep.

Day 3, Reason 3: Better sleep.

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Day 2, Reason 2: A Long Life

Life is short, so they say, and I want to live it for as long as I can.  I vaguely remember being young and stupid and thinking to live hard and die young would somehow be superior to being boring and getting old.  Now, in my mid-thirties, I don't mind the getting older part, boring is relaxing, and I sure don't want this life cut off any sooner than it has to be.

There is side of me that believes life should be enjoyed in every possible way, that cutting myself off from the foods that make me happy is simply no way to live.  Life is short, let them eat cake!  But one of the consequences of getting older is you realize your body can't handle that cake the way it used to, and you become a little more rational about things.  I still believe that I should enjoy food, but I have to find healthier ways to do it.

Food is so connected with joy for so many of us.  It's at the center of all of our holidays and celebrations; a date night with my husband involves eating, a relaxing Sunday morning is not complete without brunch.  I'm aware that the connection between food and fun is a societally created one, and I'm aware of  the fact that I don't actually have to stuff my face with waffles to enjoy a fantastic Sunday with my family.  But every time I tell myself "I'm going to eat healthy this weekend", or "I'm not going to be a glutton at that party", I fail, because all around me people are eating and laughing and you just get carried into that.

The point of this is that there is a very strong part of me that believes that a life of abstaining from the rich, delicious, unhealthy foods I love is not one worth living.  But there is another part of me that knows I can't eat that way and live the many long years I want to enjoy.  And I do want to live many, many years, because there's a whole lot of things I've yet to see and experience, and I have some fantastic people I want to spend as many years knowing as I possibly can.

So there has to be a balance.  And unfortunately, I have the type of personality that has difficulty with balance.  There's never just one glass of wine or just a taste of chocolate cake.  I'm all in or I sit out the game entirely.  But it's time for me to find the balance.

I want to live a long time.  Because man, this life is beautiful - and yes, part of the beauty of life is delicious food.  But I can eat delicious food in a sane, healthy way.  At least, I am going to try.

Day 2, Reason 2: To live a long, healthy, happy life.

Not sure what I'm up to?  Check out my 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge.

30 Days, 30 Reasons, Day 1: My Sons and the "F" Word

"Mom, I'm going to have to say the "F" word and you're going to be mad!"

Nolan and I were lying on the couch talking about going back to school, and he was discussing some of the teachers at his school.  I asked him what he knew about them and he told me about how one of them looked like his teacher from last year, with long blonde hair.  He said he hopes he gets that teacher, and I asked why, thinking it was just because he is reminded of his beloved teacher.  And then he hesitated to describe another teacher, and the line above came out of his mouth.

Fat.  The "F" word is fat.

In his 7 years of life I have managed to instill in my son first that being fat is a bad thing, and then that it's not ok to call people fat.  Talk about confusing the poor kid.

Let's start with the first half of that sentence.  How many times have I said "Oh, God, I am so fat!", or "I can't eat that or I will get fat!" in front of or even to my kids?  How many times have I given them the impression that the reason mommy exercises is because I don't want to be fat?  Been caught looking in the mirror and calling myself fat in a sad, derisive way?  How can I not expect my kids to think that being fat is something of a character flaw in a person, something that should be fought against and avoided at all costs?

And then, the second half.  I tell him that we don't call people fat because it's not nice - further teaching them that it must be something flawed about the person we shouldn't point out.  I try to amend that to explain that everyone looks different, and just as we don't judge people for the colour of their eyes, skin, or hair, we don't judge them by their size.  People are all the same inside, and what matters is how they behave and how they treat others, not how they look on the outside.  I'm the mother of a child born with a facial defect, for heaven's sake, how can I not have this one down?

But my words to them and my treatment of myself create confusion in their little kid brains.  Mommy dislikes herself for being fat, so doesn't it make sense that we shouldn't like fat people?  That being fat is some kind of flaw?

I've already started to remind myself to say "Mommy is exercising to be healthy", and "We eat these foods and not those foods because it makes our bodies healthy.  But the habit of looking down on myself for how I look has to stop if I want my kids to have any hope of growing up with a healthy understanding of who you are mattering more than how you look.

It's not just girls who need to grow up with healthy body image and an understanding that how much they weigh doesn't define their worth - although a lot of the focus of this kind of campaign against body shaming is on the female population.  It's my job as a mother of boys to not only teach them to see their own bodies in a healthy way, but to one day look at the women they may date or marry and see beauty in the person, not the dress size.

It's up to all of us to raise kids who focus on being healthy rather than on being thin.

Reason Number 1, Day 1: To ensure that my kids understand that it's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy, and that healthy doesn't equal skinny.  To get rid of the "F" word as a method of describing myself, and as any kind of measure of how much I deserve to be loved.

Day 1: No More "F" Word.

Curious what this is about?  Read about my 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge!