tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21536318944887916012024-03-19T04:16:21.236-07:00Still Life With BoysLife with boys is never still, except here - in portraits painted with words - where I can hold them still.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-5132562944214093222015-07-24T18:28:00.000-07:002015-07-24T18:28:05.390-07:00Why My Son's Nail Polish is Not Just Nail PolishAnyone who knows me knows my son Aaron likes to have his nails painted, and that I (and my husband) have no problem with that. He gets a lot of flack for it - surprisingly more from little girls than little boys - but he rides it out.<br />
<br />
"Mommy, they were laughing at me at karate today because of my nails."<br />
<br />
I feel my heart lurch a bit in that mom-response to your child being made fun of, and say "And what did you tell them?"<br />
<br />
He shrugs. "That I like it."<br />
<br />
That's it. It's nail polish. He likes it. So what. It's <i>just nail polish</i>.<br />
<br />
Only it's not just nail polish.<br />
<br />
The thing is, I have spoken those words so many times in response to people that I have rarely stopped to think about what it means to say that.<br />
<br />
Yes, in a way it's just nail polish. It defines nothing about him. It doesn't make him "girly" (and if it did, why is that a bad thing?), it doesn't signify sexual preferences (not that we care who he loves as long as he is happy), it just means he likes nail polish. He likes the colours, he likes how it looks.<br />
<br />
It's just nail polish.<br />
<br />
But when it comes to how we react to his desire to wear nail polish, it becomes something else.<br />
<br />
It becomes part of his relationship with us, of our acceptance of him for who he is, and of our unwavering support of his desire to express who he is.<br />
<br />
It becomes a part of his knowledge of and trust in our support and love.<br />
<br />
It becomes part of the relationship we are building with a small person who is on a journey to figure out who he is and how he fits into this world, and to figuring out what to do when he doesn't fit into this world.<br />
<br />
One day, he will face greater peer pressure than simply "you can't wear nail polish, you're a boy", but he is going to know that his parents support his decision to go his own way, even if people laugh at him, and he will do the right thing (we hope).<br />
<br />
One day, he may feel something inside that he is afraid to tell the many people who might laugh at him or judge him, but he's going to know his parents aren't going to laugh, or get angry, or judge, and that we want him to be exactly who he is. And he won't be afraid to tell us, whatever it is.<br />
<br />
My son is almost 7. He's just entering the endless part of life where what other people think, and what society has decided is ok and not ok for him to do will begin to affect his thoughts, his opinions, and how he feels about himself deep inside.<br />
<br />
It is my goal - my mission - my <i>obligation</i> - to make sure he knows that whatever the world thinks of him, at home he is accepted exactly as he is. And hopefully, to make sure he can accept himself as he is and love himself in a way that so many of us struggle to achieve. That he can go on to be himself and not change because he's feeling pressured to change.<br />
<br />
It's just nail polish. Except that it's not - it's what I want my son to know summed up in his glittery blue nails: You are You. We love you for you. Don't ever be afraid to be you, no matter what anyone else says.<br />
<br />
It's not just nail polish. It's a message in a bottle.<br />
<br />Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-10375889990265814802015-04-30T10:10:00.001-07:002015-04-30T10:11:05.700-07:00What I Need You To Know About That Mean Kid at SchoolThis post has been coming for a while, and I have run over the words in my head a hundred times. The best I can do is to just try to get it out.<br />
<br />
My kid can act like a real jerk. Not long ago we had a message from the school that a kid he rides with on the bus told her mother my son threatened her. There's no defending it - he said it. He didn't mean it, and he would never do it, but he told a girl on the bus he was going to beat her up. I was horrified, not just because it's an awful thing for my son to say - and it is - but also because I know exactly what other people will think of him when they hear this.<br />
<br />
I can imagine what it's like to be the parents of that child who comes home and says there is a bully on the bus. I would be upset, angry, I would be writing to the principal just as this mother did. I would be worried for my child and I would be thinking this kid on the bus must be awful, a real monster, a little shit.<br />
<br />
A little shit. I've heard many people refer to children that way, kids who behave badly, kids who can be mean, kids who get angry easily, kids who threaten. <br />
<br />
That little shit is my son. He's 7. <br />
<br />
Sometimes, after an incident where he has said something or done something wrong, he cries and tells me he wishes he wasn't alive. That he is bad and should never have been born.<br />
<br />
Sometimes he feels so bad inside he doesn't know how to express it, and I don't know why. And I don't think he knows why either.<br />
<br />
He's just a little boy.<br />
<br />
He's insecure and he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. He has some behavioural problems, and we are working on them.<br />
<br />
He's my baby, I am his mother. <br />
<br />
I sometimes cry with frustration and sadness at my inability to figure out what's going on in his head, why he lashes out, why he says awful things. I read, I research, and I try, and I struggle, and I cry because I know there are parents who think he's a little shit and I'm failing. Maybe I am failing. But I'm trying.<br />
<br />
My little boy is an insecure child who desperately wants to be liked, but sometimes thinks no one likes him, that he's not good enough somehow. He tries to put on a tough front, but he doesn't understand how that looks to grown-ups living in our culture of fear that a bully might target our child. He doesn't get how his attempts to look cool are making him less likely to be liked.<br />
<br />
I get it. No child should be afraid of another child at school. My son has no right to act the way he does. It's not ok. I promise you we are working on it. I know there are parents out there who probably aren't stepping up to do something about the way their kids act, but please don't jump to that conclusion. Please don't assume every parent whose child acts out has their head in the sand, doesn't care, is a bad parent who is ok with their kid being a bully.<br />
<br />
I want you to know that he is not a bully. He doesn't want to hurt or harass anyone, or to make anyone's life miserable. He's not a bad kid, deep inside. He has a huge heart. I have seen him give things away to make other people happy, I have seen him cry when he thought he hurt someone he loves. I see every day the kindness that is in him, the love, the heart. I know you don't see that. I wish you did.<br />
<br />
He can be so sweet. He loves hugs and snuggles. He loves his dog, his mommy, his blankie. He's 7.<br />
<br />
I get that it hurts your heart as a mother to hear that another kid is being mean to your kid. I get that you want something to be done. I want to promise you that I am doing something. <br />
<br />
It hurts my heart to know that you think my child is a mean little shit. It hurts me to know you have a reason to feel that way. I need you to know he's not a bad kid, just one who has some problems and struggles, as we all do, and who doesn't always do the right thing.<br />
<br />
All I ask is that you please stop and remember, when you hear tales of a child who is being mean at school, that he or she is just a little kid. That there is a mom who loves that kid as much as you love yours. That there is more to the story.<br />
<br />
Please, take a moment to consider how much it hurts to hear a child like mine called a horrible name, or spoken of like he deserves retaliation. Kids who are struggling with behavioural problems don't need or deserve retaliation. They need our support, help, and love.<br />
<br />
And as their parents, we could use some of that support too. Because just like you, we didn't get a manual, and just like you, we're doing our best.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-37335324122244707872015-02-11T13:13:00.002-08:002015-02-11T13:32:42.123-08:00The Internal Dialogue of the Insomniac, or, Why I Don't SleepI have had insomnia all my life. It comes and goes in waves - sometimes I sleep ok, sometimes I go days on end without sleeping more than a few hours. Sometimes, when I get up in the morning exhausted, there's an obvious reason. <br />
<br />
One of the kids was sick and I spent the night alternately cleaning up puke and trying to sleep with a child in my bed who never stops moving.<br />
<br />
One of the kids had a nightmare and climbed into bed with me and wouldn't stop moving.<br />
<br />
One of the kids has a horrible cough that, even though they somehow seem to actually sleep through it, keeps me awake all night.<br />
<br />
One of the kids...you get it.<br />
<br />
But most of the time, there is no obvious reason why I didn't get any sleep last night, and it will send me into convulsions of annoyance if I am asked why I didn't get any sleep. So, in the interest of explaining - without really explaining, since it doesn't truly make sense in the end - I've given an example of the sequence of mental events that results in one very tired and one very cranky mom at 6 am. This will be presented in the form of a dialogue between two voices in my head. For the record, there aren't really voices in my head. Well, not much.<br />
<br />
Voice 1: Ok, lights out! So tired, time for sleep!<br />
Voice 2: Did you make the lunches, set the coffee maker, gather the library books, and turn off the oven?<br />
Voice 1: Yes.<br />
Voice 2: Are you sure?<br />
Voice 1: Yes.<br />
Voice 2: ARE YOU SURE?<br />
Voice 1: no. (get up and check)<br />
<br />
Voice 1: Ah, all taken care of, now to sleep!<br />
Voice 2: Hey, remember that incident from two years ago that you were really upset about and spent a long time trying to get over? Remember that? Let's think about that and go over everything that happened in minute detail.<br />
Voice 1: This is pointless, let's stop thinking about it and go to sleep.<br />
Voice 2: You know what awesome thing you could have said that would have made you feel so much better about the whole situation? (several really awesome comebacks)<br />
Voice 1: Sigh.<br />
<br />
Voice 1: Ok, ok, I've been in bed for over an hour, I really need to get some sleep.<br />
Voice 2: OR - let's think about extremely improbable ways in which the kids could get maimed or killed, creating such awful images that there's no way you can fall asleep until they are cleared from recent memory.<br />
Voice 1: What can I think about to get those images out of my head?<br />
Voice 2: I have some ideas!<br />
<br />
Voice 1: Why is the bed suddenly so uncomfortable?<br />
Voice 2: Try lying on your left.<br />
Voice 2: Ok try your right.<br />
Voice 2: Try your back.<br />
Voice 1: Ok, now I'm kind of comfortable (foot starts itching unbearably) Well, now it's not comfortable anymore.<br />
Voice 2: Try lying on your stomach.<br />
<br />
Voice 1: If I fall asleep now I can still get 4 hours of sleep.<br />
Voice 2: Ok, ok.<br />
<br />
Voice 2: Did you hear that?<br />
Voice 1: Hear what?<br />
Voice 2: That weird noise!<br />
Voice 1: It was the dog.<br />
Voice 2: Maybe. Or maybe there is a vicious intruder in the house about to come up the stairs and murder everyone. (stare at open doorway for a while, alternately dozing off and waking up to stare again just in case)<br />
<br />
Voice 2: Are you asleep???<br />
Voice 1: Well I was close.<br />
Voice 2: I just wanted to share my concerns regarding that conversation you had with *random person* yesterday. It's very possible you said something stupid.<br />
Voice 1: Oh god, you're right. I should go over that whole conversation for the fifth time to be sure.<br />
<br />
Voice 1: If I fall asleep now, I can still get 3 hours of sleep.<br />
Voice 2: Tomorrow is going to suck.<br />
Voice 1: I'm wide awake.<br />
Voice 2: Is that the dog snoring?<br />
<br />
ALARM RINGS<br />
Voice 1: Mumbles incoherently.<br />
Voice 2: I bet someone is going to ask why you didn't sleep last night.<br />
<br />
<br />Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-25992761303257840232014-09-30T13:53:00.002-07:002014-10-05T15:17:30.173-07:00Day 30, Reason 30: Loving Myself is the Reason, Not the GoalSo this is it. 30 days without my scale, and my final reason for eating right and exercise that has nothing to do with how I look. I have a lot of thoughts to work out about what I really learned during this month - and it wasn't what I thought or hoped I would learn.<br />
<br />
At any rate, I must post one final reason. It's been pretty challenging these last few days, and I have felt like I just can't come up with one more. Then this morning, my final reason came to me.<br />
<br />
I have to eat right and exercise because I love myself.<br />
<br />
What does that mean? Mainly that I have always seen losing weight as the key to seeing myself in such a way that I could love myself. I stare at myself in the mirror and tell myself how much I hate my belly and thighs, my stretch marks, the little bit of fat hanging over my bra. I hate the flap under my triceps and the way I get a double chin in some pictures. And I think if I just lose that weight, if I just look better, then I will love myself. How sad is that? And yet I know I am not alone. I know many, if not most, women think they'll love themselves more if they can just fix those flaws, whatever they may be.<br />
<br />
But that's looking at it entirely wrong. Loving myself should be the reason to exercise and eat right, and not the goal. I shouldn't do it so I will love myself, but because I love myself. Because I deserve to be healthy and the people who love me deserve for me to be healthy.<br />
<br />
So that brings me to the all-important question: do I love myself? Do I love myself as I am? Will I love myself no matter what the scale says tomorrow?<br />
<br />
I don't know the answer to that. But I do know that if I can't love myself as I am then there is no amount of exercise that is going to make me love myself any more. I have to love myself first, and I have to treat my body as something that deserves love. Otherwise, how can I ever expect to look in the mirror and be happy, no matter what I see?<br />
<br />
Day 30, Reason 30: Loving myself first.<br />
<br />
So here it is. The end of the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge.</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-2082098604667349592014-09-29T19:03:00.000-07:002014-09-29T19:03:02.197-07:00Day 29, Reason 29: ComaraderieAnyone who has ever gotten seriously into fitness - any type of fitness - knows that one of the things that is most enjoyable about it is the sense of camaraderie you get with other people who are also into fitness. Sometimes this can go a bit too far and become cliqueish - yes crossfitters, I'm looking at you - but mostly it's just a nice thing to share and talk about with friends.<br />
<br />
I work out entirely at home, so I don't go to classes where I make friends, but even so I get a sense of connection with other people who are also dedicated to workouts. It's a great topic of conversations, and it's something you can connect with other people on even when you don't know them well. It's something people like to brag about a little, something they are proud of, so it gives people a chance to talk about themselves, and to share experiences and tips.<br />
<br />
I always feel a little outside the circle when I am not working out regularly, and I really do like being on the inside.<br />
<br />
Day 29, Reason 29: The sense of connection with others who are dedicated to workouts.<br />
<br />
Only ONE DAY LEFT of the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-12464818128031662242014-09-28T22:05:00.001-07:002014-09-28T22:05:38.053-07:00Day 28, Reason 28: I Can Wear What I WantIf you know me, it's no secret I love shoes. I love high heels, but I don't love how much my feet hurt when I have my weight on my feet in those shoes all day long. And that gets worse the heavier I am. So, the better I eat, the more I exercise, the less I weigh, the more I can wear the gorgeous shoes I own without super sore feet.<br />
<br />
I don't feel that needs further explanation.<br />
<br />
Day 28, Reason 28: I can wear awesome heels.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-85497344355613223982014-09-27T17:07:00.002-07:002014-09-27T17:07:16.061-07:00Day 27, Reason 27: It Forces Me to Try New ThingsI have a confession to make. I'm a really picky eater. And by that I mean I think most vegetables are disgusting, and I won't eat anything with a weird or slimy texture, or that sounds in any way unappealing to me. So you can imagine that it's a challenge for me to convince my kids to eat foods that I won't eat.<br />
<br />
Doing my best to eat healthy, clean foods forces me to overcome my anti-vegetable predisposition. It forces me to find ways to cook the foods that gross me out in ways that make them more palatable to me. Since I first tried to eat on a Primal diet, I have managed to find ways to make myself eat cauliflower, asparagus, green beans, and multiple leafy greens I otherwise wouldn't touch. Broccoli is still a challenge for me, but I find that I can eat broccoli slaw, which I never would have discovered if I hadn't forced myself to try new things.<br />
<br />
I'm a much better eater now that I was 5 or 10 years ago, and I am still trying to find new ways to get more, different healthy foods into my diet that I never would have tried years ago. And I'm discovering all kinds of ways of cooking that make it easier to stay healthy.<br />
<br />
Day 27, Reason 27: Expanding my culinary horizons.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a> is almost over!!!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-8545853648475496632014-09-26T18:40:00.001-07:002014-09-26T18:40:39.261-07:00Day 26, Reason 26: All Kinds of Little Problems Go AwayI've mostly been focusing on big reasons for exercising and eating right, but there are a bunch of little ones that all add up. When I eat good, clean food, and I stick to my exercise routine, all kinds of little issues get better.<br />
<br />
My always-present sinus pressure eases. My skin feels healthier, less dry, less itchy. My nails break less. I don't have as many headaches. It's little things, that add up to a big reason to keep being a healthier person.<br />
<br />
Everyone has little issues that annoy them throughout the day, the chronic things we just get used to and eventually don't notice as much - until they are gone. When they are, life improves in small ways that make us feel better overall. And that's how I feel when I stick to healthy eating and exercise: better in a hundred small ways.<br />
<br />
Day 26, Reason 26: The little things that add up to big things.<br />
<br />
Side note: I only have to find 3 more reasons!!<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-40801574409226692762014-09-25T19:44:00.004-07:002014-09-25T19:44:56.814-07:00Day 25, Reason 25: Easing the PainIt may sound counterintuitive, but working out actually does take away a lot of my pain. Since my kids were born, I have had a lot of hip and lower back pain. The more regularly I exercise, the less I suffer from those aches and pains.<br />
<br />
Granted, there is pain associated with working out too, but it's not the same as those nagging aches and shooting pains I get as a result of having two children. And it passes, the more I work out. So the more I push myself, the less my body hurts in the long run.<br />
<br />
Exercise can make things hurt, yes, but they make other things stop hurting - and I will take the good pain over the chronic pain any day.<br />
<br />
Day 25, Reason 25: It takes away my chronic pain.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-35963143179447444912014-09-25T14:43:00.003-07:002014-09-25T14:43:46.522-07:00Day 24, Reason 24: It's Good to Be FlexibleOk, I missed a day again...ooops. So I owe two reasons today. I'm in the last few days of this and I am starting to wonder why I did this. I don't feel better. Nobody really cares, including me, that I haven't weighed myself in almost 30 days. I guess I thought it was going to mean something somehow, that I was going to feel some sort of accomplishment. <br />
<br />
At any rate, because I'm invested in the whole thing and since I've made it this far, I will push through. I'll get to my overall feelings about the whole thing when I gather my thoughts for the final post next week.<br />
<br />
Today's reason is a pretty basic one. Working out regularly makes me more flexible, which is kind of nice when you have to tie your shoes, or contort yourself to reach behind a heavy piece of furniture to access some vitally important toy that you child has managed to drop back there.<br />
<br />
It's not a huge reason most of the time, but when you need to be a bit more flexible you really do appreciate it.<br />
<br />
Yeah, I'm feeling blah about this whole thing. Off to think of another reason. <br />
<br />
Day 24, Reason 24: Being more flexible.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-82651413394538040232014-09-23T20:32:00.002-07:002014-09-23T20:32:34.616-07:00Day 23, Reason 23: That Endorphin High RocksEveryone who has ever gotten seriously into exercising knows the feeling. They call it runner's high but it's got nothing to do with running; I never run and I know it well. The endorphin high you get from exercising. It comes on when you least expect it, and all of a sudden you feel so fantastic you could keep going forever.<br />
<br />
The crappy thing about that high is, it takes a while to get there. You don't get it the first time you work out, or the first week, or maybe even the first month. But then one day, it hits you. You feel like you're on clouds, you're only vaguely aware of fatigue, aching limbs, sweat, heavy breathing. Out of nowhere, there it is: the high you're going to chase forever after, the moment you become hooked on exercise.<br />
<br />
I haven't felt it in a while, and I really need to get there again. Once I do, it's no longer a struggle to make myself work out in the morning. I look forward to it, and skipping a workout isn't something I will eve consider. It's like everything clicks, and it's easy after that. I mean, not easy exactly, you still work your butt off. But the desire to give up and crawl back into bed slips away.<br />
<br />
Day 23, Reason 23: Chasing that amazing high<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-80211390283899460992014-09-22T18:54:00.001-07:002014-09-22T18:54:11.306-07:00Day 22, Reason 22: To Reduce the Risks of Scary DiseasesHere goes the second reason of my double-header! This one's kinda heavy.<br />
<br />
Everything causes cancer these days. Heart disease is one of the number one killers of women. There are a billion scary diseases beyond these two that you can get at a moment's notice, and they'll just kill you. Just like that.<br />
<br />
What's truly scary is that you can get these diseases even if you are super healthy, eat nothing but the best foods, exercise all the time, and never touch a cigarette or a drink in your entire life. You can be the world's healthiest person and cancer can take you down. Just like that.<br />
<br />
So yes, horrendous diseases affect people all the time, and maybe there's nothing any of us can do to completely prevent them. But there's a whole lot of literature to prove that you can reduce that risk by eating better and exercising, so if there is something you can do to bring down the risk, then you really should. Because life is scary enough and the risks are high enough, so shouldn't we all do our best to make sure we are on the lower end of the risk scale?<br />
<br />
It's easy to say "I could get cancer anyway, I might as well do what I want", but that's a cop-out. All those people out there who love me and want me to stay here and stay healthy deserve better than for me to cop out. My kids deserve better than for their mom to cop out.<br />
<br />
Day 22, Reason 22: Because I can, and should, do everything to reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, and all the other illnesses that strike down amazing people in their prime.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge.</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-87096854235774525672014-09-22T18:46:00.002-07:002014-09-22T18:46:48.502-07:00Day 21, Reason 21: Comfortable in My ClothesI forgot to post yesterday, so today it's a double-header. Which means I have to think of two reasons, which is getting pretty hard as I enter the last days of this challenge. I knew it would get hard, but I admit I am really reaching for ideas now. So here's hoping I think of today's reason while I write yesterday's.<br />
<br />
Being comfortable in your clothes is about a lot more than how you look; it's about how to feel. Waistbands digging into your stomach, bras digging into your back...adjusting skirts and bustlines all day because it just doesn't feel right - those are all the things that tell me I need to get more exercise and eat better. And they are not about how I look - although that is a part of it - they are mainly about how I feel.<br />
<br />
I hate when I am in a place when only yoga pants feel comfortable. Because while those pants might feel good, they don't look good. So, in some weird turnaround, I feel better when I can wear my less comfortable clothes, because they fit me right.<br />
<br />
Confidence is about feeling good, and when I feel comfortable in the clothes I love, I feel more confident. Being able to wear the lovely things I own means a lot to me. Those clothes make me feel confident. And that's not about being skinny, it's about feeling right in my skin as well as my clothes.<br />
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Day 21, Reason 21: To feel comfortable with myself and my clothes.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge.</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-73045147717849327912014-09-20T20:52:00.004-07:002014-09-20T20:52:38.909-07:00Day 20, Reason 20: Nobody wants to huff and puff up the stairs.There's no quicker way to discover you are out of shape than to have to limb several flights of stairs in a hurry. Aching legs, a little sweat, and the worst - the huffing and puffing - not fun for anyone.<br />
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I haven't had to climb a lot of stairs recently, but it's not a bad thing to be prepared for that day when you're at the doctor's office and you're late, and you push that elevator button and wait, and wait...and wait, and it's not coming and you decide you're going to have to climb those stairs.<br />
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And it's not just stairs, it's any time you find yourself having to hurry - walk quickly or, heaven forbid, run. It's awful to be that out of shape person who is breathing hard while other people are just moving along like it's nothing.<br />
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You know how they say you don't have to outrun the bear, just the slowest person who is also running from the bear? Well, if there's no one else around, you have to outrun the bear. And it's not likely to happen that you're being chased by a bear...but don't you want to be ready? Just sayin'.<br />
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Day 20, Reason 20: Because sometimes you gotta outrun the bear, and you don't want to be wheezing.<br />
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<a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">The 30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge!</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-40719919715007359602014-09-19T21:25:00.002-07:002014-09-19T21:25:55.736-07:00Day 19, Reason 19: It Gets My Day GoingGetting up at 6 am sucks for an insomniac night owl. It suuuucks.<br />
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But, I have learned that if I push through, get going, and exercise first thing in the morning, the rest of the day goes much more smoothly.<br />
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I don't sleep well, and 6 am is painful for me. But somehow, by the time I have gotten the kids on the bus and walked the dog, I am ready for a workout. And I finish that workout and feel ready to start the day. I get more stuff done. I'm awake, I'm energized, and I no longer want to crawl back into bed.<br />
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After I work out I can sit down and get some writing done, and then I can get on with what ever else is planned for my day. If I skip it, I continue to feel tired and lethargic. It gets me moving, it gets me going. I actually missed it during the summer when lazy mornings moved into lazy afternoons and I got nothing done.<br />
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I'm not a schedule-oriented person, but somehow having a schedule for excercise actually makes me feel better throughout the day.<br />
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Day 19, Reason 19: Because getting going moves the whole day.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-72020169676445472532014-09-18T18:00:00.000-07:002014-09-18T18:00:59.355-07:00Day 18, Reason 18: Because I CanWhen you think about it, it's pretty obnoxious of me to complain about the struggle to eat healthy foods and exercise.<br />
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Unlike the majority of the world, I have easy access to an incredible array of healthy, fresh foods, 24 hours a day if I really want it. I have no less than seven grocery stores within 5 minutes of my house. They are stocked, between them, with enough food to feed a small city. And while people starve around the world, I have the gall to complain that I don't feel like cooking or that I don't know what to make for dinner, or that it's too hard to find healthy and delicious meals that my kids will eat. <br />
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Unlike many people even right here in the U.S., I have enough money to purchase that food that is within easy reach of my home, a car to get there, and a well-stocked kitchen in which to prepare that food. I can afford to buy healthy, high-quality food, unlike many people whose grocery budgets barely allow them to purchase the cheapest, most basic necessities. I can run out at a moment's notice and come home with not only the ingredients for that recipe that just sounds so good I absolutely must make it tonight, but a bottle of wine to go with it.<br />
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Unlike people who are struggling just to survive, my biggest struggle on a daily basis is to just put on my workout shoes and spend an hour sweating. While children do backbreaking labour to make those workout shoes somewhere in the world, I have the nerve to complain that they're rubbing on my big toe during my cardio kickboxing workout.<br />
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Unlike the many people grievously injured in wars, weakened by malnutrition and rampant illness, exhausted from the very struggle to stay alive, I am strong, healthy and whole. I am physically capable of vigorous exercise, and I can work out for fun while others try to find the strength just to make it through the day.<br />
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I'm among the luckiest people on the planet, and I somehow think I have the right to complain about how hard it is to eat healthy and exercise. I'm actually challenging myself to do it like it's some sort of major life accomplishment.<br />
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You know what that makes me? An asshole.<br />
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Day 18, Reason 18: Because I am so freaking lucky that I can, so I should stop being an asshole.<br />
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The <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons No Scale Challenge</a>.Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-91783961393974346902014-09-17T17:17:00.002-07:002014-09-17T17:17:33.737-07:00Day 17, Reason 17: Exercising is a Perfectly Normal Thing to DoLike many people of my generation I sometimes struggle to make myself exercise. We didn't grow up thinking about having to work out; although Jane Fonda was already aerobicizing the ladies of America when I was a kid, I wasn't super aware of it. My mom took the odd aerobics class, but exercising wasn't something I grew up with, at least not something I saw my parents do regularly. <br />
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It's not that we were sedentary. My dad did go curling regularly, although many would argue it's more of a drinking game than a from of exercise, I've done it and it actually does require some effort. My brothers played hockey and baseball. I took dance. But those things are all different from the concept of exercising for the sake of exercising. Just doing it because it's a good thing for your body.<br />
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Certainly there's nothing wrong with getting your exercise from an activity that you enjoy; in fact, it's probably the better way to go about it. But for most of us as adults, work and life take the place of activities done for enjoyment, and many of us drop those activities that kept our bodies moving as kids and teens. It's entirely possible that those who don't drop them are happier than the rest of us in some way. They're certainly happier that they don't have to force themselves to the gym to run on a treadmill.<br />
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To get to the point, anyway, I think it's a good thing that I am raising my kids to believe that exercising is just something people do. That it's a normal part of my day, something I do to keep my body healthy. They'll grow up thinking of exercise as a regular activity that hopefully becomes a part of their day as well, and not so much of a struggle that they have to force themselves to work out. It's part of the reason I choose to exercise at home. Well, that and I don't like to engage in public sweating.<br />
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<b>Day 17, Reason 17: To teach my kids that exercising is a good, normal thing to do.</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">Check out the 30 Days, 30 Reasons No-Scale Challenge</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-52815407637002416862014-09-16T18:29:00.002-07:002014-09-16T18:29:13.091-07:00Day 16, Reason 16: Fewer "Sick Days"Anyone who is a mom knows there is no such thing as a sick day. You can <i>be</i> sick, but that doesn't mean you can take the day off. Because kids still need feeding, cajoling out of bed and out the door to school, lunches made. The dishwasher still needs emptying and the laundry folding and the toilets scrubbing. There's still homework to oversee, lessons to attend, dinner to make, bedtime to handle. And then, once the kids are in bed, you get to clean up the kitchen from dinner and pick up the trail of random junk they have left all over the house.<br />
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So yeah, sick days, not so much.<br />
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As a mom, you pretty much have to have the plague to really get to lie in bed for a few hours, usually <i>after </i>you've gotten the kids ready for school and out the door. And while you take that time to rest, <i>mom shit ain't gettin' done</i>. Nope, it's all just right there waiting for you, because the laundry fairy is a myth and so are kids who clean up after themselves.<br />
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So yeah, sick days, when you do take them - not even worth it.<br />
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Which therefore brings me to another of the perks of eating right and exercise: fewer illnesses. When I eat right, when I work out regularly, when I take good care of my body, I don't get sick as easily. And that's important because my children are walking germs.<br />
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Day 16, Reason 16: Moms don't get sick days, so I'd best stay healthy.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-51190830353111156992014-09-15T18:44:00.000-07:002014-09-15T18:44:06.305-07:00Day 15, Reason 15: Enjoying the SplurgesSo let's just take a minute to acknowledge that I am halfway through this thing. Day 15 of 30, and I haven't stepped on the scale once, which is even more amazing considering I didn't even hide it. It's still sitting there on the bathroom floor, taunting me.<br />
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It's been somewhat harder than I thought it would be, and I'm starting to see the scale as something not entirely bad in terms of motivating me. But I'll get into that in my recap at the end of the month. As it stands, we're so far, so good.<br />
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On the reason my 15th reason. You enjoy a splurge a lot more when you've earned it. When you eat clean and healthy most of the time, and you work out daily, you not only really enjoy that occasional treat, you really feel you have earned it.<br />
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I love my Sunday brunch. Bacon, bubbly, pancakes in maple syrup. I love it. I look forward to it all week. And you know, I enjoy it a lot more when I have been eating healthy all week. I don't feel bloated and gross when I sit down at the table. And I don't eat as much as I would otherwise, I just savour each bite.<br />
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So, before I get too hungry thinking about brunch...here's my halfway point reason.<br />
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Day 15, Reason 15: Treats taste better when you feel like you've earned them.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-49898965087628159392014-09-14T16:02:00.002-07:002014-09-14T16:02:32.407-07:00Day 14, Reason 14: Healthy Habits are for LifeHere's why I need to eat healthy all the time and serve the same healthy meals to my kids: because I am setting them up for life.<br />
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Already because of our efforts, Nolan and Aaron are better eaters than a lot of kids I know. They're at the very least willing to try new things, and getting them to eat vegetables is not akin to a trip to the dentist for tooth removal. <br />
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We, Shaun and I, are responsible for giving them a foundation for healthy eating, and we can't expect them to eat anything that we ourselves wouldn't eat. Man, do I struggle with that one. I am NOT a good vegetable eater, but I have worked on it, and I am still working on it. I now eat asparagus, green beans, cauliflower, and spinach, things I might not have touched as a child. And that means my kids eat them too. The more I can experiment with healthy eating, with finding the right recipes for veggies to make them at the very least palatable to the whole family, the better I am teaching my kids to eat. And so I keep trying.<br />
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Except with broccoli. I tried, I swear, but that is just nasty.<br />
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So the goal is to set my kids up with healthy habits now by modeling them in my own behaviour. If mommy eats crap and doesn't care about her health, why should they?<br />
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Day 14, Reason 14: To teach my kids lifelong healthy eating habits.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons No Scale Challenge</a> here!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-46355590929070790552014-09-13T15:50:00.002-07:002014-09-13T15:50:18.774-07:00Day 13, Reason 13: It's Good to be a BadassI'm a mom of two little boys. I'm a freelance writer working from home. I'm boring.<br />
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There aren't a lot of opportunities in the life of a WAHM to feel like a badass. I don't really do anything that's worthy of attention, although I think I deserve a medal for cleaning our bathrooms, which are often not far off from a Chernobyl-level hazmat disaster. Every now and then you just want to feel like you're not the dullest, least exciting, least interesting person alive. <br />
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Back in the day when I was working out like mad and getting really strong, I got called a badass a lot. That's about the most exciting word that's ever been used to describe me. I'll take it over pretty any day. Badass. Just say it out loud, it makes you feel stronger just pronouncing that word. <br />
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My life isn't going to get more exciting any time soon, and I'm ok with that. I'm developing a taste for calm and quiet, what little of that I get with my boys around anyway. I'm ok with a life that isn't going to make headlines or leave a whole lot to talk about. I'm loved, and I love, and life, as they say, is beautiful in it's most basic form.<br />
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But it would still feel pretty damn good to be called a badass again.<br />
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Day 13, Reason 13: Damn, it feels good to be a badass.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons No Scale Challenge!</a>Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-33443979056131014322014-09-12T15:43:00.002-07:002014-09-12T15:43:45.057-07:00Day 12, Reason 12: A Better Reason to Wake Up SoreThose of you who like me, are no longer what you'd call "young" will immediately know what I mean when I saw "waking up sore for no reason".<br />
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As you get older, you seem to develop an ability to injure yourself in your sleep. You wake up with an achy back, a stiff neck, sore hips, sometimes even odder ailments. For no reason other than that you're getting older and your body hates you. In may case, it may be that my body hates that bottle of wine I consumed the night before, but that was really just to dull the getting old aches and pains from the day before.<br />
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Those of you who have worked out seriously know that even when you have been doing it for a while - if you're continuing to challenge yourself and work harder - you're occasionally going to wake up sore. Really, really sore. Like, can't lower yourself to the toilet to pee and can't raise your arms high enough to wash your hair kind of sore. And the best part is, the second day is even worse than the first.<br />
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But as much as that soreness sucks, it sucks even more to be sore for no reason. And if you do things right, you might even be able to reduce the amount of random getting old pain you experience. Of course, it might just be that you don't notice anymore because your quads hurt so bloody much from the squats.<br />
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Day 12, Reason 12: Waking up sore for a good reason.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-61179311879077618852014-09-11T20:00:00.003-07:002014-09-11T20:00:54.444-07:00Day 11, Reason 11: Better, Um, Adult TimeYou know you're a mom when you feel a tad awkward even saying the word sex, because you know if you say it in front of your kids you're going to get 20 questions you don't want to answer.<br />
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And out of respect for those of you who aren't interested in the TMI aspects of my life, I'll just talk in general terms.<br />
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Today's reason is the simple fact that being healthy helps kick up the ol' libido. Exercise is the biggest part of that, but eating well plays a role as well; nobody wants to do the horizontal mambo when they're feeling stuffed and bloated. It's just not comfortable.<br />
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Having more energy, feeling better, sleeping well, getting rid of pesky stomach issues - all reasons I have listed already, they all contribute to the libido boost. And in that great circle of a good life - spending more time between the sheets also helps you sleep better and feel better. So it's, as Martha would say, a good thing.<br />
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Day 11, Reason 11: Feeling better means better (and more frequent) sex, which in turn means feeling better.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-37636249543741495652014-09-10T18:56:00.001-07:002014-09-10T19:21:05.157-07:00Day 10, Reason 10: A Sense of AccomplishmentSense of accomplishment. Those words generally annoy me, because they are the words everyone uses to convince people to do thankless jobs that have no other real benefits to the person doing them.<br />
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As in "After you clean those toilets, you will have a sense of accomplishment!" or "Getting all that filing done will give you such a sense of accomplishment!" or "Motherhood gives you such a sense of accomplishment!"<br />
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But when it comes to working out, it's true. It does make you feel like you've accomplished something. Really, for an exhausted mom (or even someone who isn't a mom) with a million things on the to-do list being pulled at from all sides, getting in a good workout really is an accomplishment. And the great thing about exercise is that the sense of accomplishment only grows. You get stronger, faster, more tenacious. You can do more, lift more, go longer. You can feel what you are accomplishing with every motion.<br />
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So, unlike housework, office work, and motherhood, exercise actually does give me a sense of accomplishment. Ok fine, motherhood does make you feel like you've accomplished something. Sometimes...occasionally. <br />
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Day 10, Reason 10: That elusive sense of accomplishment.<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No Scale Challenge</a>!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153631894488791601.post-24052133718312314692014-09-09T17:12:00.003-07:002014-09-09T17:12:52.058-07:00Day 9, Reason 9: Strong BonesOsteoporosis runs in my family, and is very common in women as they age. I'm not a huge fan of drinking my milk - really of dairy products at all. Except for cheese of course....delicious, delicious cheese....brie....gouda....havarti....where were we? Oh yes, bones.<br />
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One of the ways you can strengthen your bones and prevent osteoporosis is by lifting weights. I'm <a href="http://www.webmd.com/osteoporosis/living-with-osteoporosis-7/weight-training">not making that up</a>, is all sciency and whatnot. It's not just for building muscle, but for your bones too.<br />
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So for strong bones, I need to pick things up and put them down. I'm not really liking the idea of breaking a hip, so I need to keep right on getting that strength training in. That's a cut-and-dried reason number 9.<br />
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Day 9, Reason 9: Strong bones, no broken hips...or any other bones, hopefully<br />
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Check out the <a href="http://www.stilllifewithboys.com/2014/08/the-30-days-30-reasons-no-scale.html">30 Days, 30 Reasons, No-Scale Challenge</a>!!Leslie Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13077156769165377669noreply@blogger.com0